Even so, Roppi still thought that it was unrealistic to love every aspect of him. His lack of humour, his speaking habits, his self-destructive ones too; those are just some parts of him that are hard to like— to love. “It’s not… ‘unbearably cute.’ That’s mildly sadistic of you to enjoy embarrassing me though,” his smile is still loving and innocent, “you asshole.” Ah, here comes another compliment. Is it strange? Roppi never thought of himself as beautiful, he always viewed himself as someone with little to no importance, and not a single trace of beauty. He is harshest with himself, and he was convinced that beauty didn’t exist within him. Yet even though the highly stubborn misanthrope saw nothing ‘good’ about himself, there was always that fluttering in his chest or that sudden rush of relief whenever Izaya calls him beautiful. He may not change his perception of himself, since he’s too stubborn, but he certainly could believe in the other at that moment. Whenever Izaya comments on his beauty, the one that Roppi couldn’t see, those are the moments that he truly feels beautiful and worth something. “Ah— that’s a lot of kisses, and a lot of time…” he mumbles under his breath, hearing the other sigh almost dreamily. “You’re blind. I don’t have any bumps or curves or anything. When was my heartbeat ever special?” After the other man finished speaking, the clone made an undoubtedly embarrassed face and decides to duck and hide his head into Izaya’s chest.
“I think so.” He chuckled, “well, my inner sadist needs to be satisfied somehow, yes? But I only enjoy embarrassing you in a harmless way. If it ever bothers you just tell me, okay?” Izaya flashes a little grin at the name calling, not at all bothered by it. He knows he tends to give Roppi a lot of compliments but they are never without meaning, being sincere with every single one of them even if his lover doesn’t entirely agree or feel the same. Of course he wishes and hopes that Roppi can someday view himself in a more positive light, but until then Izaya will keep loving him the best he can, and hopefully make him feel at least a little beautiful even if just for short moments. “I don’t have to do it if it’s too much to you, you know. But I think you deserve it.” Blinking as Roppi suddenly disappears from sight and hides into his chest Izaya laughs softly again, glancing down to see what he can of the other. “Are you sure? I’m beginning to wonder if you’ve ever looked at yourself in the mirror.” The hand that had been at Roppi’s chest moves, blindly but gently finding his collar bone and tracing along it with his thumb as an example of those little ‘bumps and curves’ he had mentioned. “It always has been, and I think you know very well why it’s so special.” Izaya’s voice softens and his hand slips out from between him and Roppi to run its fingers through his lover’s hair, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head as he lightly plays with the strands.
Ah, there really wasn’t much of a point in avoiding it any longer. After a long pause in speaking with her lips pursed and a guilty gaze that Izaya couldn’t see, she spoke while nodding to herself in acceptance that she’d been caught. “..No.” she uttered nearly inaudibly in hopes that the bustle of the crowd around her would mute her words. She wasn’t really sure how her brother would react; he may well not even care at all - actually, that was the most likely. But, she nonetheless felt the need to hide it. Skipping school wasn’t usually something people boasted about anyway, was it?
She heard him tell her almost exactly what she expected - telling her he was busy with work and such. “..Okay.” she replied to his question vaguely, not really being all that great. She was broke and depressed and really didn’t feel up to doing much besides.. Eating. And being entertained by the stupidity of people around her.
And during that moment of silence he smiled knowingly to himself, just waiting for her to finally admit the truth to him. “I see.” She said it so quietly that Izaya nearly missed it. “Any particular reason why? I do hope this hasn’t been a reoccurring thing.” No, the informant didn’t care at all that much, if his sister was skipping class then that was for their parents to deal with and worry about, not him. But maybe some little part of him was curious regardless. It was like him to ask questions anyway, wasn’t it?
Izaya was used to Kururi talking very little, she’d always been the quiet one, but even then her one word answers seemed odd for some reason. “… Hm. Are you sure?” Maybe he had gotten good at reading the tones of her voice throughout the years or maybe he was only guessing, but something made him play the ‘concerned older brother’ figure for a moment.
tromperie-sombre started following you
Another night, another instance of coming across a rather intriguing figure on his walk home. The more interesting things always peeked their heads out in the dark, didn’t they?
His walk slowed to a stop. “Good evening to you, stranger.” He never did have a problem with talking to strangers.
♙ - Tanaka nodded, happy to have company rather than being left alone with his thoughts. “Bittersweet is a good way to describe it. One has to be careful to mediate their feelings between sentimental and melancholy, and to live without feelings of regret for the past. That’s how to enjoy memories of days gone by.” A soft smile spread across the stewards lips at Izaya’s last comments. “Indeed. There’s good and there’s bad, just the same as any other person. At the end of the day both shape who you are.”
“I couldn’t have worded it better myself. Too many people get stuck on regrets, looking back with only sadness and thoughts of what they could have done differently. I do my best to only look forward but in times of looking back, you can’t let it bring you down too much.” Izaya glanced over at Tanaka in time to catch the smile. “It’s funny, just the other day I had to tell a young lady something very similar to that. Every moment of life changes us somehow, and oftentimes we never realize it until we take the time to really think back and remember.”
♙ - “Ah, good evening Izaya. It’s nothing in particular that’s bothering me; it’s simply a sense of nostalgia if I could describe it as such. When one gets to be as old as myself, many people have come and gone, each leaving there own mark on the soul. Friends, loved ones. One can’t help but look back and get stuck in the memories sometimes.”
“Ah, I see. It’s just one of those nights, isn’t it?” Being a good deal younger than the other man Izaya couldn’t entirely relate, but he understood nonetheless. “We all have those moments, I suppose… rather bittersweet, usually. You must have a lot to look back on. Good things, I would hope.”
♙ - “…………………”
“Something on your mind?”